goodnyt
Tuesday, November 30, 2004

Tonight before I close my eyes once again to enter a new dimension. I would like to thank Him for every blessing he has given me.

• The water that flowed the whole day, created and ocean in my heart, I am once again a mermaid swimming in the cold pacific glory of the earth.
  
• To the angel who spoke to me in silence, listening to my silent screams at night, for giving my space a whole lot of meaning once again. From now on my language would speak of love in Any form, and my love will always radiate, hoping to reach you again.
  
• To the man who loved me dearly once upon a time. Thank you for breaking me, the pieces of my heart are bleeding with such profound emotions, you have given my art meaning once more. Every tear I shed for you will always grow into an ocean, and in time I would be able to swim ashore and be with the mermaids, hoping you’d follow me there one day, and be with me in the sanctuary I have built for Us.
  
• And to my father, thank you for inspiring me to become a good person like you. I know you are watching over me (I know you always do) and loving me from far away, but I will always feel you inside my heart, never too far Daddy, never too far. Your little baby will always seek for your guidance; I will find you gazing down at me every night, in every star that I see.
  
• To You my Creator, for bringing out the essence in me. You are indeed the source of my being. In every battle that I took, I saw you standing by, watching me. In every strangers eye I see you, through the smiles of my friends I feel you, in every embrace form my family I love you.

a birthday letter for my dad
Friday, November 26, 2004

pa,

happy birthday! it's your first birthday with Him. i wonder how you celebrate birthdays up there. but i want to picture you as a young man, at the age of 30 perhaps. you're wearing a cool 70's outfit. i've always admired you in that brown checkered top and brown pants... oh and that brown beret too, exactly the way you looked on the photograph that mommy showed me a couple of months ago... i bet you miss us too. but now that you are up there at the garden of God... where blue clean rivers flow... ( i can almost here the water gushing from down here) you miss us in a way only you could explain.i miss the way you look pa, the way you stroll down our driveway everymorning. i miss the love that radiates from you. mommy misses you so much. who could ever forget you Pa. you've been our angel here on earth, and even now that you're up there, you're still our angel. much love pa, much love from all of us... especially from me... i hope it reaches you...until then...

love,ynna

november 25, 2004
8:30 pm





Wednesday, November 24, 2004


from a fellow sea creature in passing

i didn't do anything productive today. now that i''vre realized that i feel more depressed. i slept the entire day, it was at around 6:00 pm when decided to check my hi5 account. then there i saw this message from ANTZ i don't really know her... but what's intresting is that she wrote me a letter about the recent journal entry i wrote. that journal entry originated from my Green Apple notebook, it was a letter for pom, but i don't have any intention to give it to him, i just wrote it for my own pleasure, anyway i posted that entry here at my blog, the very first entry. you can check it if you want. and i'm going to pose the letter that "Antz" sent me.

Subject:a fellow sea creature in passing...

Message:
i was searching for a friend named "ynna" when your artistic picture caught my attention. i "accidentally" read through your journal entry.. Oopps.. i guess it wrong for me to use that word... i read through it intentionally as i was drawn by your strong words until it ended with a (.)

i would like to say thank you. you write very well.. those were beautiful words with so much depth and profoundness. i envy your gift, your words expressed are my feeling repressed... and somehow i maybe saw myself in you...

you're right.. indeed maybe the mermaids sent you those gifts.. for they would glady welcome you into their abode.. for it to be your sanctuary as well.. but i am definite.. that you will also be a gift to them.. and in turn.. amidst the darkness, these creatures underneath would push you to rise up the ocean floor so you may experince the radiance of sunlight once again... there is so much fear in the dark only when we have lost our grasp of our ultimate Strength.. your Creator brought you to it.. He will bring you through it..

i read somewhere that when you hold the sand too tightly in your hands, you tend to lose more.. sometimes we just have to learn to let go.. hard and painful as it may seem.. but it is also in this way that we love and grow more...

sometimes we just have to open our shells a bit and let that streak of light coming from the stars above bring back that strength that is within us.. let that glow from the deep blue sky be known to you.. it is the Creators manifestation of great love for you..

life is waiting.. someone one's wrote : We cannot remove this waiting from our lives. It is part of the tapestry of living ---the fabric in which the threads are woven that tell the story of our lives.

waiting is a gift just as life is...

i dont really know if i am making sense to you. i just felt like giving it all back to Him by letting you know that your Father is with you in your battle..

GODBLESS!! your entry was an inspiration for me to write again... you have my prayers. :)


it's nice to know that even if i'm in this state of depression i can still inpire people. =)